Media release

17 June 2021

 

Fathers' Day an opportunity to rethink fatherhood beyond toxic gender norms- anti-GBV NGO

• Engaged fatherhood has positive outcomes for society
• Practical tips for engaged fatherhood

 

Cape Town, 17 June 2021 —According to a 2018 State of South Africa’s Fathers report* women still carry the unfair task of taking care of the full needs of children in most households in South Africa where, for every hour of care work a man does, a woman does eight hours. Fathers' Day is an opportunity to reflect on evolving fatherhood from harmful gender norms and stereotypes to a more equitable and engaging version.

 

This is according to Kerryn Rehse, Advocacy, Policy and Research Officer at MOSAIC Training, Service & Healing Centre, a non-governmental organisation (NGO) dedicated to fighting GBV. "Engaged fatherhood and men's participation in the lives of children have positive outcomes for children, women and men themselves. In addition, studies have shown that an engaged and responsive father can reduce the risk for the use of violence and corporal punishment in the home and in communities because the concept of fatherhood in South Africa reflects an extended network of social relationships between men and children, which includes 'social fathers' such as uncles, grandfathers, step-parents etc."

 

Engaging men and boys

 

The NGO says the root of men and boys using violence, which often manifests itself through rape, physical, emotional and financial abuse, lies in the need for power, control and in gender stereotypes and toxic ideas of what makes a man. To counter this, MOSAIC engages men and boys through gender sensitisation workshops that focus on unpacking the harmful gender norms and stereotypes that drive and sustain high levels of gender inequality, disengaged and non-responsive fatherhood and GBV.

 

The workshops introduce the participants to gender and toxic masculinity concepts in an easy-to-understand way and alternative, positive gender norms and masculinities that promote gender equality and male involvement in parenting. In addition, the workshops include practical sessions focused on communication skills and conflict resolution skills.

 

"Our programme creates a platform where men and boys learn, unlearn and relearn how to be positive human beings who co-exist with others in a non-violent way. We celebrate fathers, uncles, grandfathers and the positive influence that they are on children. We value them, and we want them to know the good that they can do in bringing up a positive, active and engaged youth that will contribute positively to society," says Rehse.

 

Promoting engaged fatherhood

The meaningful engagement of fathers in their child's lives from an early age is proven to positively impact early development. This is especially relevant in the first 100 days of a child's development. Studies have shown that engaged fatherhood during antenatal and in the first 100 days of post-natal care improves breastfeeding rates, increases weight gain in children born prematurely, and improves relationships between the parents. Engaged fatherhood applies to both residential and non-residential fathers. This is to consider that South Africa has an estimated two-thirds of fathers who don't live with their children.

 

"Engaged fatherhood is more than just the financial provision for the upkeep of the household or caring for the child. Society pushes the idea of a father as the financial provider and the protector. This narrative is devoid of emotional attachment and meaningful interaction between the father and the child. Instead, it creates the idea of an ATM father - there to provide money and little else. This follows the toxic and harmful views of masculinity, the "big boys don't cry" school of thought," says Rehse.

 

An engaged father feels responsible for their child, is emotionally engaged, physically accessible to their children, contributes to sustaining the child's needs, and is involved in childcare and decisions about the child. Rehse says: "We should not, however, have rigid notions of the ideal man who is only considered a good father if he provides all of the above. We need to understand that some men who are fathers might not have the economic means to contribute to the child but can uplift the burden on the mother in other ways, such as taking care of the child during the day."

 

Practical ways fathers can be more engaged

 

Equal distribution of work: Deciding as a family what aspects of care work they can each do increases the equal distribution of work and demonstrates gender-equitable norms to children. Work should be divided among family members, not just women and girls. Older children can be included in housework in an age-appropriate way.

 

Doing more care work: Fathers to newborns and infants can support breastfeeding (join the night feeds, provide skin-to-skin contact), change nappies, prepare formula, soothe, or play with the baby while the mother takes a bath or a nap. Fathers of older children can engage in the creche and school needs by sharing meal and snack-prepping duties or volunteering to be added to the creche/school WhatsApp groups to take on some of those responsibilities. Non-residential fathers - when visiting or having the child visit – can take an active role in the care work required at that time.

 

Develop a dad routine: Fathers should take the time to be physically present in their child's life. This may mean consistently dedicating 30 minutes in the afternoon or on the weekend to sitting with a child and engaging in developmental play (infants), or for older children inquiring about the child's day/week and or engaging in physical play or participating in an activity in which the child is involved. Other examples include putting the child to bed in the evening and walking or driving them to school.

 

Know your children: Taking an interest in what is happening in their child's life and getting to know them is important. Taking time to know one's child sends a strong and clear message that they are worthy of their father's time and interest. Some questions to guide this process include: What are their interests, what is the best way to put them to sleep, what is their favourite food, who are their friends?

 

"A gender-transformed model of fatherhood makes for more enriching father-child bonds and healthier family relations while freeing fathers from the narrow and toxic ideas of what it means to be a father," says Rehse.

 

ENDS

Notes to editors:

 

• Sonke Gender Justice, State of the South Africa's Fathers, 2018 report

 

About MOSAIC

 

MOSAIC is a community-based non-governmental organisation (NGO) that works to prevent and reduce abuse and domestic violence. This is achieved by providing holistic, integrated services when incidents      occur, and supporting clients through the process of healing and rebuilding their lives after a traumatic event.

 

MOSAIC creates an enabling environment through our holistic and integrated five-pillar service model

• Access to justice – psychosocial and legal support provided by court support workers, and psychosocial support from MOSAIC's Sexual Violence Counsellors at Thuthuzela Care Centres
• Support and Healing – Counselling Services, Support Groups and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights;
• Engaging Men and Boys- Training and Workshops, Support Groups and Counselling for Men
• Empower- Education and Skills Training, Rights Training, Youth GBV Life Skills and Community Dialogues
• Advocacy and Policy- Advancing rights of women and girls by providing evidence from our services to change the system.

 

The organisation was established in 1993 in response to high levels of violence against women in South Africa, particularly in the form of domestic violence, and in recognition of the silence that many women suffer in unnecessarily, due to either a lack of knowledge of their rights, a lack of confidence to access justice for themselves, or both. MOSAIC's registered head office is in Cape Town, South Africa.

 

For further information about MOSAIC, please visit www.mosaic.org.za